Review - Spider-Man 3

There are few things more upsetting than a Spider-Man film; all that longing and loss, eyes constantly on the verge of tears. Peter Parker’s life is troubled, something that has always been central to his appeal since Stan Lee used his great power to create him in 1962. The third part of Sam Raimi’s take on the Webslinger keeps up the same soap opera-ish element as the previous episodes, with perhaps less emphasis on action and villainy. If, like me, you love the heart of the first two films, then this will be welcome news. If you want to see a faithful rendition of the Venom saga, then you will be sorely disappointed. The screenplay has unfortunately bitten off more than it can chew in a (still quite long) two hours and twenty minutes.

The film opens with everything surprisingly rosy for Peter (the so-innocent-it-hurts Tobey McGuire). He’s going out with MJ (Kirsten Dunst), who’s just landed her first lead role on Broadway, he’s the star of his science classes, and J. Jonah Jameson at the Bugle still buys his pictures of Spidey. Of course, it can’t last. The man arrested for the murder of his Uncle Ben, Flint Marco (Thomas Hayden Church), escapes from prison and becomes The Sandman after wandering into a nuclear accelerator. This means he can turn into sand at will, which doesn’t just mean he gets inside your swimming costume, so you keep finding bits of him for weeks afterwards; he has super-strength and can’t get hurt, which is much more of a menace.

Also, Spider-Man’s iconic red and blue costume has turned to a rather cool black colour due to an alien symbiote. This enhances Peter’s superpowers, but also his smug self-satisfaction about being a universally-loved (well, apart from a certain tabloid editor) and selfless all-round good egg. The change in personality alienates all of his friends and loved ones, but is very funny to watch (McGuire cannot really pull off ‘cool’, which is lucky because neither can Peter Parker). I will gloss over the ins and outs of what the symbiote means and how Venom comes about, because the film-makers do. You’d think two villains and an internal battle would be enough, but there is the return of the Green Goblin to contend with as well. This time, Peter’s very angry best friend Harry Osborn (James Franco) is under the mask, complicating matters even further.

The myriad of different plots are not hard to keep track of or anything, but do produce a rather fractured film. There was more than enough material in here to make two very good stories; the whole symbiote thing deserves a film on its own, and tying up the lose ends of Peter’s problems with Harry (my favourite scenes in this episode) could have been extended. They have also wasted the character of Gwen Stacy by putting her in here; any comic fan will know that she was Peter’s first love interest, before Mary-Jane had ever called him Tiger.

Having pointed out its flaws, I still can’t help but love this film. McGuire is excellent and adorable as always, and the script is very funny. This part of the trilogy gives the best cameos so far of Bruce Campbell and Stan Lee, the real highlights for us geeks, even if it doesn’t do justice to any of the villains involved. The consistency of tone across the series is remarkable, and testimony to Sam Raimi’s vision and love for the subject. So, not a perfect film, but one that is very enjoyable and moving for a comic geek like me.

Review - Blades of Glory

Figure skating is my favourite spectator sport. Every four years I am fixed in front of the Winter Olympics to see the triple-axel-double-salchow combinations and camel spins; during the Summer Olympics I have to watch gymnastics, a very distant second in my books for two reasons:

1. The big-chested, growth-stunted little girls are no match for the fluid grace of the skaters, and
2. The gymnasts’ costumes have few sequins.

The themed, sparkly creations that the skaters wear make for interesting viewing, but even I have to admit they are also ripe for some mickey-taking. Will Ferrell and Jon Heder duly oblige in Blades of Glory, souping up the camp glitz and bitchiness of the ‘sport’ to outstanding levels.

Heder plays Chazz Michael Michaels, the sex bomb of the figure skating world. Self-taught on the mean streets of the inner city, he is the arch-rival of Heder’s Jimmy MacElroy, the angelic and technically-perfect adopted son of a millionaire. After their intense rivalry causes both to be banned from Male Figure Skating for life, they fall on hard times. Realising that they can still compete in Pair Skating, they team up and enter the World Championships with, as they say, hilarious consequences.

This is a clever idea well-executed by directors Josh Gordon and Will Speck. The casting is great, with Ferrell making the most of his ‘magnetic sexuality’, and Heder the most of his Mormon innocence. The wonderful Will Arnett (Gob from Arrested Development) and his real life wife Amy Poehler (the perfect size for a throwing girl in pair skating) are hilarious as the Van Waldenbergs, the brother and sister nemeses of Michaels and MacElroy. The costumes are the real stars, though; tight in all the wrong places, exquisitely detailed and not far from the truth, they steal every scene.

Whilst the script has a lot of very funny ideas and many laugh out loud moments (as well as lots of great skating in-jokes), some flat scenes and thinness of plot mean that this will not become a comedy classic. Blades of Glory is a lot of fun whilst you’re watching it, but, like most of Will Ferrell’s comedies, not that much sticks in the memory. Still, 93 minutes of enjoyable silliness is not to be sneezed at, even if it is making fun of my beloved ice skating.