I have never been more bored in a cinema than when watching Ocean’s Thirteen. Silent Hill was excruciating, but at least I was confused and mildly repulsed, sustaining my interest minutely. This film, on the other hand, is such a one-note affair, with no emotional content whatsoever, that it is hard to stay awake. For a film about a daring heist, this is quite an achievement.
The problem is that everyone is trying to be so suave that they turn into nothing more than cool robots: coolbots, if you will. These coolbots, with the faces of usually charming actors (Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon et al.) wander around organising the comeuppance of a casino owner (an unusually subdued Al Pacino, considering he’s playing the baddy) for two long hours. Given the lousy, slow, unfunny build up, you’d have hoped for an exciting denouement when the actual heist occurs, but even that is boring. The trouble with really cool people is that they don’t care about anything; if the characters relished all this double-crossing and the thrill of the chase (if there was a thrill of the chase, even), this would have been a diverting movie. As it is, it’s Yawnsville.
The production design, on the other hand, is excellent. The sets are easily the most interesting bit of the film, so if you have to see this, keep your eyes on the background.
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